this machine will not communicate

I need to have a logline for the producer's book for AFF.  I FUCKING HATE WRITING LOGLINES.  I AM THE WORST AT WRITING LOGLINES.

What is a logline?  "A log line or logline is a brief summary of a television program or film, often providing both a synopsis of the program's plot, and an emotional "hook" to stimulate interest."  For most of the people who will see the book, they won't have read the script, so my logline is my one shot to get them interested in the script.

Here was my first attempt:

The people of the village have always lived in terror, cowering under the shadow of the mountain above them, and the dark Count who rules from the castle there – until the day a young woman decides that enough is enough, and journeys to the castle to end the terror for good.

And I thought that was really boring and sucked.  So I came up with:

An ancient evil lurks in the castle on the mountain.  The villagers cower in terror, but one young mother has had enough, and journeys to the castle to deal with the Count herself.

This felt better, but also...cornier? 

So please, please, help me.  Relevant info: it's a classic vampire movie, the protagonist is a woman, she is a BAMF who just like decides to tell the evil vampire guy "bro leave us alone for real" like to his face.  And it's more about atmospheric horror and unheimlich than it's about gore and such.

I need to turn it in by tomorrow afternoon at the latest; I'd rather have it decided tonight or tomorrow morning and have it over and done with.  So any feedback would be amazing and perfect and I would love you forever and maybe write you fic.  Please and thank you.  :DDDDD

No, seriously.  Hahaha.  I actually thought I'd get done with my babylon5_love fic by tonight, so I could edit it tomorrow.  THAT'S HILARIOUS, SHANNON.  YOU ARE SUCH A KIDDER.  When I started working on this - you know, a couple weeks ago - I said to myself, "Self," I said, "what can you write in a few weeks?  A drabble?  A fun little piece of fluff?  A slightly meatier yet still lean character study?  Sure.  You could write those things.  Or you could write a plot-dense horror action ensemble novella!  That would be so much fun!"

Based on my outline, I'm at the nadir, which puts me between the midpoint and the second act break.  (Yes, I still outline everything with a plot like it's a screenplay, because that's the only way I know how.)  Even if I wrote like a GQMF tomorrow, I'd be lucky to finish the next chapter, which puts me at the act break.  So.  I'm going to have to post a WIP, which is LAME BALLS.

However, according to the calendar, no one's signed up for tomorrow, so I whipped up something fun.  I'll post it in the morning.  I think it is awesome, and very insightful, and it will be yay.