this machine will not communicate

I've seen this "you know you're from [blank] when..." meme a couple places, so I decided to do it myself. There were ones for Kansas proper and just Kansas City, so I picked my favorites from both. Ones that are true are in bold; I cut a lot of the ones that didn't apply because there were a lot, since the Kansas meme was skewed towards people from western Kansas (one of them was, "You know someone's from Kansas City when they consider everything west of Topeka to be western Kansas," and I was like, ooo, burn), and a lot of the Kansas City meme was skewed toward KCMO, which, KCMO sucks, whatever.