![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kungfuwaynewhoI had a horrible night's sleep last night. Hooooooorrible. It began at dinner, when I came home from work and espied a brand new two-liter of Dr. Pepper. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had any Dr. Pepper. The two-liter saw me looking at it and started dancing, very slowly and seductively, the saucy little thing. "Dr. Pepppppppperrrrr," it sang. "I'm Dr. Peppppperrrrrr." So I had a single glass, and while it was very delicious, when you really don't drink pop at all anymore, and it's too fucking hot for coffee, a single glass of anything with caffeine, especially at 6:30 pm, is maybe not the best.
But even that could have been overcome, if someone on my street hadn't decided to go out at midnight and turn on their car radio to KDCK, Loud and Thumpy FM. And then, like, IDK, chill in their driveway with a Michelob or something. What are you gonna do, it's Kansas. So I'm lying in bed, doing that stubborn thing where you yell at your own brain in a stentorian Satan voice. "GO TO SLEEP. JUST IGNORE IT AND GO TO SLEEP. YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP AT AN EARLY GROWN-UP TIME FOR WORK. SLEEEEEEP!"
After about half an hour of this, I decide to investigate. I tiptoe down to the front door and look through the peephole. The porch light is off, so I basically see nothing at all. My thought process goes like this: I can turn on the light, but all I'm doing is heralding my presence to anyone outside. I can continue to stand here and look through a peephole into blackness. If I turn on the light, though, the monsters will know I'm here. But I can't see shit.
I decide to flip on the light, there are no monsters on my front step, so I open the door and listen, which means that I stare really hard into the night with a stupid look on my face. At this precise moment, there is no thumpy. I listen and listen, and I imagine whoever it is to be sitting in their car - or, more likely, crouched behind it, probably nefariously - taking a swig of Michelob, laughing and laughing, maybe pointing a little. I lock back up and toddle off to bed. A few seconds of triumph. I showed them! I turned on my porch light for 1.7 seconds! They know I mean business.
Five minutes later, the thumpy has returned. I just laid there and dealt with it, and eventually must have fallen asleep, though I do not remember it. I only remember waking up with an audible "FNNNNNFFAAAAFFFRRR" and groping my way out of bed and running into shit as I walked down the hallway. A glance in the mirror confirmed that yes, I will look like Momma from Throw Momma From the Train all day. My hair is doing....something, my face is sort of pallid and eye-baggy and fuzzy and hazzled (I made that word up just now, it sounds right), and I'm definitely like eighteen inches shorter. I'm sitting on the computer, peering at the monitor with squinched-up eyes because the thought of putting my contacts in is horrifying, I need to start getting ready now but I'm too tired to put on clothes, the thought of breakfast is making me urg, and a dog is requesting me to please provide him with sustenance, ma'am, oh please, am I not the best dog, do I not guard your every footfall, and I am now realizing that when I ran into aforementioned shit while wobbling down the hallway at top speed, I stubbed my toe and broke the absolute fuckery out of my nail.
Yes. An asspicious start.
But even that could have been overcome, if someone on my street hadn't decided to go out at midnight and turn on their car radio to KDCK, Loud and Thumpy FM. And then, like, IDK, chill in their driveway with a Michelob or something. What are you gonna do, it's Kansas. So I'm lying in bed, doing that stubborn thing where you yell at your own brain in a stentorian Satan voice. "GO TO SLEEP. JUST IGNORE IT AND GO TO SLEEP. YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP AT AN EARLY GROWN-UP TIME FOR WORK. SLEEEEEEP!"
After about half an hour of this, I decide to investigate. I tiptoe down to the front door and look through the peephole. The porch light is off, so I basically see nothing at all. My thought process goes like this: I can turn on the light, but all I'm doing is heralding my presence to anyone outside. I can continue to stand here and look through a peephole into blackness. If I turn on the light, though, the monsters will know I'm here. But I can't see shit.
I decide to flip on the light, there are no monsters on my front step, so I open the door and listen, which means that I stare really hard into the night with a stupid look on my face. At this precise moment, there is no thumpy. I listen and listen, and I imagine whoever it is to be sitting in their car - or, more likely, crouched behind it, probably nefariously - taking a swig of Michelob, laughing and laughing, maybe pointing a little. I lock back up and toddle off to bed. A few seconds of triumph. I showed them! I turned on my porch light for 1.7 seconds! They know I mean business.
Five minutes later, the thumpy has returned. I just laid there and dealt with it, and eventually must have fallen asleep, though I do not remember it. I only remember waking up with an audible "FNNNNNFFAAAAFFFRRR" and groping my way out of bed and running into shit as I walked down the hallway. A glance in the mirror confirmed that yes, I will look like Momma from Throw Momma From the Train all day. My hair is doing....something, my face is sort of pallid and eye-baggy and fuzzy and hazzled (I made that word up just now, it sounds right), and I'm definitely like eighteen inches shorter. I'm sitting on the computer, peering at the monitor with squinched-up eyes because the thought of putting my contacts in is horrifying, I need to start getting ready now but I'm too tired to put on clothes, the thought of breakfast is making me urg, and a dog is requesting me to please provide him with sustenance, ma'am, oh please, am I not the best dog, do I not guard your every footfall, and I am now realizing that when I ran into aforementioned shit while wobbling down the hallway at top speed, I stubbed my toe and broke the absolute fuckery out of my nail.
Yes. An asspicious start.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 12:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 01:05 pm (UTC)My brain develops SLJ's potty mouth when I can't sleep.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 02:48 pm (UTC)Doctor Pepper that bitch.
I hope your day gets better. :/
no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 03:45 pm (UTC)I know how it feels to lie in bed and hate your neighbours for not caring that other people don't have their mixed up sleep-wake-cycle and actually want to catch some shut eye during the night.
If I turn on the light, though, the monsters will know I'm here.
Yes, that's usually what I think when I'm faced with the dilemma of staying in bed quietly or get up and frigging DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE NOISE.
I hope your day gets better, though. But, honestly, upwards is the only way to go from where you are now.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 05:17 pm (UTC)I'm sorry you didn't sleep last night :( Dude, if that thing with the radio ever happens again, just call the police and make an annonymous noise complaint.
(We once had an upstairs neighbor who, like, practiced his drums in the middle of the night or something. I called him in three times.)
no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 06:03 pm (UTC)Eh, my day's fine. I just enjoy bitching. If I were actually having a bad day, I wouldn't post about it. :D
no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 06:07 pm (UTC)Yeah, I think the problem is that the music wasn't really that loud, it's just that my bedroom's on the front of the house. We've made noise complaints before, but that's usually when we can see who's out and they're really loud and we know they'll be out there awhile.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 06:08 pm (UTC)Oh good. That's how I roll, too. Real problems I generally bitch about in person. ;D
no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 06:15 pm (UTC)Except for the monsters. :/
no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 07:47 pm (UTC)I totally hear Samuel L. Jackson's voice in my head too when my brain won't do something that I want it to do. Ha!
no subject
Date: 2011-08-06 11:35 pm (UTC)"I showed them! I turned on my porch light for 1.7 seconds!"
"a dog is requesting me to please provide him with sustenance, ma'am, oh please, am I not the best dog, do I not guard your every footfall,"
This was so funny, I burst out laughing like 4 times :D (Obviously lack of sleep b/c of noisy fuckmuppets isn't funny) but you wrote about it most hilariously. Sleeplessness-induced hyperactivity FTW?
Hope your zombified day wasn't too nasty anywayz
no subject
Date: 2011-08-07 12:50 am (UTC)Your neighbor sounds outrageously annoying too. That sucks :(
no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 04:05 am (UTC)I'm sorry you had an awful night... But I LOLed at the way you told it.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-11 02:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-11 02:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-11 02:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-11 02:22 pm (UTC)Your icon is v. pretty. *pets*
no subject
Date: 2011-08-11 03:54 pm (UTC)I will work on the beaming technology in my spare time and next time somebody bothers you like this I will come over^^