Cool; I'll go that way, then. Thinking it over this morning, I think it's the best way to go. I'll probably not do the entire thing, and cut before the actual attack - I want to save my first legit vampire attack for later. But cutting back and forth I think will liven it up.
The Count wasn't very nice to a maid in the opening, but other than that it's all been threats and tone. We haven't really seen him do anything. I'm rewriting the beginning, but I do think I might have Mira come upon him feeding from one of his slaves at some point, probably around the midpoint, actually. Right now it's like "the Count is evil!" on page two and then he like doesn't do anything, so there's no rising tension - so yeah, we need to see something a bit more overt before this.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2010-12-28 05:45 pm (UTC)The Count wasn't very nice to a maid in the opening, but other than that it's all been threats and tone. We haven't really seen him do anything. I'm rewriting the beginning, but I do think I might have Mira come upon him feeding from one of his slaves at some point, probably around the midpoint, actually. Right now it's like "the Count is evil!" on page two and then he like doesn't do anything, so there's no rising tension - so yeah, we need to see something a bit more overt before this.