Seriously, I... I'm not going to talk to you for a while. >:(
*Cough*
Anyway.
It's hard to gauge, since I can't see how much is left, and I almost want to wait until the end to see if this is going to be a valid thought or not -- but I'm wondering a bit about pacing. The last several entries have been very high intensity/high action w/lots of scary, and have been jumping around a lot from person/location to person/location. This pace has been going on for a while, obviously the final climax is still coming... I think it's still working... but it might not for too much longer?
On another note of pacing, since rescuing Samuel and restoring normal life with is (besides keeping Dominik safe) Mira's primary motivation, I wonder if him dying shouldn't be one of the last things that happens in the climax sequence -- the very last thing before she kills Bathory, or right after she does -- to give it the most emotional weight? (*UNLESS*, of course, he's not really dead, and is going to come back...??? :):):) Maybe it was all a Bathory-magic-induced illusion?????????? *sigh*) Or it could provide her with that last burst of rage to send her after him, which would keep the weight of the moment and duly change the pacing, but then I'd think we'd want to stick with her and not shift to another location, to keep the emotional flow going, and that it would have to lead to the final confrontation with a pretty steady focus.
Meh, does any of this make sense?
One random little detail: the old man refers to "mama" -- I wonder if by his age he wouldn't just refer to her as "my mother" or "my mama" -- the perspective and distance that comes with age or whatever?
no subject
Seriously, I... I'm not going to talk to you for a while. >:(
*Cough*
Anyway.
It's hard to gauge, since I can't see how much is left, and I almost want to wait until the end to see if this is going to be a valid thought or not -- but I'm wondering a bit about pacing. The last several entries have been very high intensity/high action w/lots of scary, and have been jumping around a lot from person/location to person/location. This pace has been going on for a while, obviously the final climax is still coming... I think it's still working... but it might not for too much longer?
On another note of pacing, since rescuing Samuel and restoring normal life with is (besides keeping Dominik safe) Mira's primary motivation, I wonder if him dying shouldn't be one of the last things that happens in the climax sequence -- the very last thing before she kills Bathory, or right after she does -- to give it the most emotional weight? (*UNLESS*, of course, he's not really dead, and is going to come back...??? :):):) Maybe it was all a Bathory-magic-induced illusion?????????? *sigh*) Or it could provide her with that last burst of rage to send her after him, which would keep the weight of the moment and duly change the pacing, but then I'd think we'd want to stick with her and not shift to another location, to keep the emotional flow going, and that it would have to lead to the final confrontation with a pretty steady focus.
Meh, does any of this make sense?
One random little detail: the old man refers to "mama" -- I wonder if by his age he wouldn't just refer to her as "my mother" or "my mama" -- the perspective and distance that comes with age or whatever?
< /long-winded rambling >